James (unknownj) wrote in blx,

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Middle East Resolved for New Year

Washington DC (BLX) - In a monumental agreement the United States has averted crisis in the Middle East, by brokering a deal between President Bush and Saddam Hussein. Bush announced the terms today;

"You give us 100 pages of report, we'll give the UN 80 pages of your report, and one million dollars. Then we give you ten tanks, and you give us four scud missiles."

While the world listened intently, Bush continued

"Here's where it gets complicated. We then give you back 20 pages of report, and you give us eight tanks. The UN gives you 50 pages of report and humanitarian aid in exchange for 100% of your oil. We give the UN a token treaty and your scud missiles in exchange for your oil and the remaining 30 pages of your report."

Sensing confusion among the enemy ranks, Bush pressed on

"We take your humanitarian aid, and your tanks, in exchange for the last 30 pages of your report, and a contract for new weapons, which you have to buy in order that next time we need to take liberties with you, we have an excuse. All clear?"

A baffled spokesman for the Iraqi regime merely nodded his head.
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