Washington DC (BLX) - Following this morning's threat from the US Government to Iraq, concerning their possession of the illegal weapon "oil", the UN Security Council has issued a further ultimatum to the middle east.
In an unprecendented resolution, the United Nations of America (formerly The United Nations) has instructed Iraq that the country is illegally parked, and must be removed or crushed. New president of the UN, George W Bush, has made it quite clear that the world is not prepared to negotiate on this issue
"For years, Iraq has been deliberately stationed above oil fields, which under new international law belong to the United States by definition. We ask that the good people of Iraq relocate to another country, and move their state to a designated parking zone. Other than Israel. Oh, and please check all military dictators at the exits, thank you"
The UNA has given Saddam Hussein fifteen and three quarter seconds to comply, or else US tanks will tow Iraq to the nearest crusher's yard, and have it reduced to a sandy cube.