.. suckers!, said Dick Cheney today
Washington DC (BLX) - Vice President Dick Cheney has today renewed his call for Iraq to "Pay the price of pain", and prepare to be invaded.
Speaking at a low-key press conference, Mr Cheney briefly flashed a list of Iraq's broken promises to the world, and explained that this justified the US breaking its promises to the UN and the international community at large, by attacking Iraq unilaterally.
Iraq is currently making plans to allow weapons inspectors into the country, but the international community is sceptical. Specifically the Bush Regime, which demands oil prospectors accompany any weapons inspectors for security reasons. Said one spokesman:
"Oil is flammable, you can make all kinds of petroleum based weapons out of it, including napalm. Furthermore, they could cause environmental catastrophe by releasing oil into nature. We simply cannot allow Iraq to have this kind of potential for destruction"
America wants to ammend the United Nation's terms on Iraq to include the removal of all Iraqi oil, and its safe transport to America for controlled processing and burning. British President Tony Blair has joined this call for Iraq to surrender its oil, in a press conference whose transcript eerily matched Cheney's word for word. He later went on to privately explain that he was not a puppet, at which point his nose was said to have performed an invasive assault on two reporters.
Iraq has been given seventeen minutes to comply with US deadlines or else it will face the possibility of pre-emptive nuclear strikes.